The Year of (Not) Nice

The Readers' Digests and Oprahs of the world are increasingly concerned with how people, particularly people of the young, single, and male variety, have lost all form of nicety. Sure, there's a lot less expected of people in a world where picking up the telephone to call someone is passe. Who even says "telephone" anymore? Taking these lowered expectations into consideration, I propose - instead of manners and "netiquette" - injecting some simple honesty into our interactions with ourselves and each other. If we acknowledge that it's par-for-the-course to be lazy in our interpersonal relationships (writing on someone's "wall" instead of arranging a date to see that person), than perhaps we can avoid setting ourselves up for confusion, disappointment, and miscommunication.

And so, I am unofficially making my mantra this year "The Year of (Not) Nice".

I say, "so what?" People are lazy assholes - let 'em be. Above all, there must be honesty. Example: texting makes it easier to cancel appointments last minute, like, RIGHT BEFORE you're supposed to meet someone. Getting "stood up" is a quaint circumstance of yesteryear. So, instead of having to make up an actual lie to explain yourself later, you just start out making a bunch of open-ended social plans, with the expectation that they may or may not (probably not) work out - ie: "there's this thing tonight...", "text me later...", or "let's hang out sometime." This is a waste of time.

It would be so much easier to not offer your phone number in the first place, to deny a friend request, or to say "I don't really like you all that much" - even if the "you" is yourself. Because, let's face it people, this is a NEW YEAR, and we all deserve some positive and worthwhile change. As long as you admit that you're a horrible person, there is no room for guessing or beating around the bush.

In marketing courses, we are taught that high productivity is achieved through realizing goals with a minimum cost of resources. And if you think of forming relationships as a way of marketing yourself, this concept can be easily applied for increased efficiency (no wasted time) and effectiveness (positive interactions). So sit in front of the mirror and practice saying "I don't like you" if that's what it takes.

And stop wasting my goddamn time.

CutePost!

Toot toot! Hi. Here's some cute stuff...

I went to the Woodland Park Zoo whilst visiting my cousin in Seattle last week. It was very wet and my boots were soggy, but we managed to have some fun since NOBODY goes to the zoo in the rain. We were also lucky enough to see the zoo's nocturnal exhibit before it's closure in a couple months. Our favorite nighttime animal and fantasy pet was the wittle slow loris. Obvs. we couldn't take its picture cause it lives in the dark. And who knows what the camera flash would do to those precious (scary) big eyes. Anyhow, some of you might remember this video:



Also on my Sea-town adventure was a last-minute stop at Schmancy, one third of the self-proclaimed "Trilogy of Awesome" boutiques; Fancy, Schmancy, and uhh...Nancy?? Anyway, I told my cousin about my love of weird-o Plush toys, particularly those sold by one Yummy Pancake, and his girlfriend said that he'd HAVE to take me to Schmancy downtown. All this time, I'd been obsessed with having my very own crocheted toast plushy, and didn't put two and two together. Schmancy not only sells the coveted Mr. Toastee plush toast, but is selling an exclusive number of Toastees styled to look like the undead. Cute zombie toast OMG!!!



So I bought one. He comes with his own birth certificate and his name is Jim. God, I'm so weird.